


you're the blood in my veins.

by propeller



Series: everything that i know about you. [3]
Category: Dolan Twins - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Implied Twincest, M/M, New York City, Parties, ethan being a soft-boy, ethan can't go anywhere w/o gray, ethan's obsession w/ nicki minaj, grayson the assclown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 12:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/propeller/pseuds/propeller
Summary: "You know what, Gray? I spent three hours looking like a douchebag, wondering when you'd get back. I don't give a shit if you think I sound like a gayass right now, but -" Ethan paused, his voice cracking. (Fuck! He sounded like such a pussy!) He bit his lip, glad Grayson wasn't meeting his eyes, because that would've been even more embarrassing - before continuing."And, then, when you do get back; this is the shit I get. You want to spend time alone? Fine. Get fucked, Gray."





	you're the blood in my veins.

Ethan leaned over the glass barricade on the balcony; his thoughts dizzying him temporarily. _What if? _Remained the looping thought on his mind. Imagine if he gave in to gravity, and leaned over… just a _tiny inch more. _ The view was so tempting; so surreal - it was New York, after all. The moon was amongst the blinding night-lights of the city; the surreal hum-drum, in a city that never slept. Pretty views were almost always mostly Grayson's thing ~ who always posted a snap on his story, whenever he felt as if something was breathtaking enough to share. His Grayson was eccentric like that. _His _Grayson. But, right now - even Ethan was able to admire such a sight. Skyscrapers lay ahead of him, looming over ordinary footpaths, and casting shadows.

He was so high up on the building that he was currently in; that every person on the ground looked like an ant. He could still hear the music from the party washing over the soundproof balcony doors. He needed a breather - that's why he was out here. Ethan Dolan didn't admit it, and no one could ever tell (with the exception of Grayson, of course) but he was a total introvert. He felt claustrophobic when he was constantly with people that he didn't know. It was easy in front of a camera, in the safety of their own house, with Grayson's warm body always right next to him - his arm lingering over Ethan's shoulder comfortably.

Or even, when Ethan was with his family - it was okay because he could be himself. He still had trouble going to visit his sister who now had a dog, without Grayson though. It was this constant, nagging thought whenever Gray wasn't nearby, that made him feel as if he was incomplete without him - which sounded so gay. Something he'd never admit to Grayson. _He'd just call me a sappy dumbass if I said that to him. _Ethan thought bitterly, scuffing his shoe on a fake plant.

Thinking of Grayson infuriated him, because Grayson had _deserted _him. And, no, he wasn't being a drama queen. Grayson and Ethan both flew into New York, for some award show after-party. They got guilt-tripped into it, and a friend had argued that the party wouldn't be the same without them.

Besides, there were rumors that Nicki Minaj was going to be there. It was an A-List party, for all of the top-end YouTubers, and minor TV-show celebrities alike.

So, even though they both felt like staying in bed, and ordering takeaway for the entire weekend; they had booked their flights instead, due to Ethan's constant nagging.

* * *

"_Gray, if Nicki shows up to that fancy party and I'm not there to serenade her with my unbelievable sexual prowess, and my incredible wit and charm - then I will never forgive you._" Ethan had nudged Grayson, only half-joking. Grayson had simply rolled his eyes, tried to hide a smile, before getting out of his bed that both of them were snuggling in. They had booked their tickets to NY the same afternoon.

So, here they were. They'd travelled all those miles for one party. It had even started off great - they saw all these people that they hadn't met for a while. Emma was there too, but they had smiled politely after she gushed about how she never saw them lately. She accused them of only having the company of each other, and never even leaving the house. Of course, she had meant it as a joke, but it hit close to home because it was _true. _They had each other. They had no need to see anyone else. They were perfectly happy. Right?

However, it wasn't even 11pm, before Grayson walked over, and grinned confidently at Ethan, who was talking to Liza Koshy about her upload schedule (non-existent, by the way) - and leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Ethan could barely focus on what he was saying; all he felt was the hot breath tickle his nape, giving him goose bumps. _"I'm going to drive down to this really cool abandoned warehouse from the 1950's, with a couple of mates. I'll be back." _

He had left before E could even protest. _Like, what the fuck? _First of all, all of Grayson's friends were Ethan's friends too. So the fact that he hadn't even asked Ethan if he wanted to join him, hurt more than he'd like to admit. Secondly, _what kind of douchebag drove to some stupid warehouse from like the 1700's or some shit?_ They'd come here to attend a party. (_And eat New-York style pizza, of course.) _

* * *

It had been hours after Grayson had left, and the sickening party was still pulsing on, oblivious to the time. Ethan could only fake-smile and make a certain amount of small-talk, before he felt like he was about to puke. Okay, so maybe he was a drama-queen about wanting to puke after talking to _certain_ people. But, seriously. Ethan was so unbelievably mad at himself for the fact that he couldn't even continue with a social event without his bitchass twin brother. It got worse as the years went on.

So he had resorted to staring at the view ahead of him. It was the 77th floor. It's not like anyone was missing him anyway; and Nicki-Goddamn-Minaj hadn't shown up (no surprise there), so frankly, Ethan didn't give a shit about going back inside.

He silently watched the barely visible, endless cars course through the New York highways; the headlights glitching and blinking without pausing. Eventual planes were taking off from the nearby aiport. LaGuardia. It was getting chilly. The deep navy blue strip of the sky, with the fluorescent gold and red of city-lights beneath it. Manhattan couldn't stay still for a second.

Yet, Ethan felt incredibly bored. As if time had frozen. He found himself pulling his phone out, and thumbing through everyone's Snapchat stories. Most of the people he had on Snapchat, were at the same party - so he wasn't surprised to see snaps of people recording the DJ, or bursting open another champagne bottle, in a familiar setting. In fact, he could even see himself in the background of Emma Chamberlain's Snapchat story - his casual black button-down shirt, grey ripped jeans, and black Vans. (Only because Grayson had told him relentlessly to ditch his iconic Air-Force-1's, since everyone they knew were going to be here.)

Today was a particularly bad day for Ethan, for some reason. He'd been feeling jittery and sick from the plane-ride the entire afternoon, and he'd barely gotten a wink of sleep. He knew he was becoming all sorts of fucked-up; Grayson had once even concerned him with the fact that he was a borderline insomniac. Ethan could never sleep like other people could. He was constantly thinking. About dumb, stupid shit. And, when he eventually did fall asleep - it was during odd times of the afternoon. Ethan Dolan didn't sleep. He improvised, and took countless power naps. A feat that even Emma Chamberlain would be envious of.

So, he stood there - too cold to think properly - too tired to face going back inside. He wanted to go back to the hotel room, and he _would_ if Grayson didn't have the fucking keys to their suite.

_Where the fuck was Gray? _

Ethan hummed quietly, tapping a foot impatiently. He began regretting the fact that they'd come down to Manhattan - even though it was his own idea. They didn't even bring any spare camera equipment, because they'd already filmed a video for the week, and Grayson had suggested for them to just go down to NY to chill, and see new places; rather than recording a half-assed video that their viewers probably wouldn't enjoy, anyway. That was one thing they'd always have in common - no matter how different from each other they felt at times - they always wanted to upload the _best _content possible for their subscribers. It didn't matter if it took them 2-10 retakes, or even if they were sick, or having personal issues. They always wanted to post the best they possibly could, each and every Tuesday. It was tiring, sometimes, but they were dedicated YouTubers, and they were unbelievably thankful for every _single _opportunity they were given. Yes, it meant that there were countless hours of recording, and editing - but they wouldn't have it any other way.

His phone began buzzing with the familiar FaceTime ringtone, and his hazel eyes looked down at his hand, startled. It was the one & only, _assclown himself_, Grayson Dolan.

"Yo." A blurry moving image of Gray called out, when E had accepted the call. Ethan didn't say anything, knowing that he was probably being a pissy little bitch by not responding, but _whatever. _He was having a bad day.

"Where are you?" Grayson spoke again - the audio quality was hella low, but Ethan could hear someone joking about something to Gray, who laughed - before focusing his attention on the FaceTime call with Ethan again. "Hello?" His twin brother questioned, holding the phone up in front of him so that Ethan could see his full profile. "_Baaaaaaby._" Grayson called out jokingly, still waiting for a response as Ethan looked down at the ongoing video call.

"At the balcony." Ethan mumbled, looking away, waiting to hang up. _Of course Grayson was out having the time of his life. Not even giving a shit about anything else. _"What?" Gray mused, raising his eyebrows as he stared back at his twin through the screen. Ethan felt like hitting him through the phone. Did he get paid to be so annoying sometimes?

"On. The. Balcony." It was emphasised this time, Ethan's voice husky and low.

Suddenly, the sliding door screeched open, and Grayson stepped into the cold wind, beginning to shiver almost instantly. His hair was dishevelled, and his face red.

"I want to go home. Let's go." Were the first words out of Ethan's mouth, not even bothering to ask him how his _little trip _to the warehouse was. "Same." Was his twin's reply. They locked eyes, and Ethan licked his lips before groaning dramatically, returning to his past self. "How could you leave me alone like that, dumbass? I was so bored." He spoke, trying not to show how offended he was.

He failed.

Gray simply shrugged, before walking over towards the barricade himself, bracing himself before pulling his phone out to take a picture. Just as Ethan had predicted.

Truth was, the mates that Gray was hanging out with earlier had nagged him relentlessly about how _gay _the twins were, for each other. Jokes, that were borderline insults, were made, and Grayson had spent the entire night trying not to let his wall of indignance crack. Yes, so they spent 25/8 of their time, together_. Who the fuck did they think they were, talking shit about him & his brother like that? _So Grayson had kept his cool, swallowed his anger, like the good Jersey boy he was - and casually dissed them back, grinning as if he didn't give a fuck about all the shit they had said. His fists were clenching sub-consciously, the entire time. But, he wasn't like that. Never would be. Grayson was not a guy who could resort to violence.

But, Grayson couldn't keep it to himself any longer. The words had left his mouth before he realized what he said, and as soon as they did leave his mouth; he regretted them, _instantly. _Like whiplash. "We're always together, E. It’s getting kinda weird, don't you think?"

Hearing this physically hurt Ethan, who didn't _agree, at all. _

"What do you mean by 'weird.' We're twins, Gray. We have a combined YouTube channel. Of-course we're together all the time." Ethan opened his mouth dramatically, focusing his gaze on his identical best friend. Grayson stared back at him, observing his twin's messy blow-dried hair, and how swollen his lips looked. Grayson wondered if E was having an allergic reaction to something.

"Yeah, but." Gray husked, looked away, running his fingers through his own brownish hair, a guilty expression on his face. His lips were pursued, and his eyes seemed focused, as if he was about to say something he couldn't keep to himself any longer. He knew he had to say it now, otherwise he'd never summon enough courage to say it out loud again.

"We should start spending some time apart. I mean, we're turning twenty, right. Like, we're our own people now. And, I don't think we should be restricted by this channel - like you're my best friend and everything obviously, but I think we need to change. This probably sounds like a load of bullshit, but -"

Hearing this, Ethan simply held a hand up, before opening the sliding door, with his other left hand, again. He spared Grayson another glance, wondering how unfair it was that he spent the entire time missing his twin brother, who was busy thinking controversial shit like that. Grayson didn't meet his gaze. Ethan knew he was about to sound like a whiny little bitch, but he opened his mouth to speak, anyway - glad no one could hear them. It was only them, and the dark half of the blue above.

"You know what, Gray? I spent three hours looking like a douchebag, wondering when you'd get back. I don't give a shit if you think I sound like a gayass right now, but -" Ethan paused, his voice cracking. _Fuck! He sounded like such a pussy! _He bit his lip, glad Grayson wasn't meeting his eyes, because that would've been even more embarrassing - before continuing.

"And, then, when you do get back; this is the shit I get. You want to spend time alone? Fine. _Get fucked, Gray_."

Then, he left, not even bothering to look back, as Grayson called out his name desperately. 


End file.
